Counting Down the Days . . .

For the first half of this pregnancy I felt like a nervous wreck.  I wouldn't let myself get excited or attached.  I don't know what has changed, but for the last month or so, it seems like all of my fears have been pushed to the side and excitement has taken over.  I just CANNOT wait for this baby.  I'm excited about ALL of it . . . labor, pain, contractions, the emotions, the birth, sleepless nights, poopy diapers, but most importantly, the moment when I get to meet our newest little girl. 

I know that this birth will be a completely different experience for Mike and me.  I anticipate both of us being extremely emotional and I definitely want to be more present and aware of the whole process.  My birth with Tessa is still mostly a blur to me, partly because of the amazingly strong epidural I had and partly because of the traumatic events that followed.  I want this experience to be different.  I want to hold my baby longer . . . right away . . . I want our families and friends to hold and love our baby (something most people didn't get to experience last time).  I want our baby to sleep right next to me, instead of hooked up to machines in the nursery or NICU.  I know I can't count on all of these things happening.  I'm sure we'll be scared out of our minds and we might face some bumps in the road, but I feel like we will have our happy ending.  AND I JUST CAN'T WAIT!  Approximately six weeks left . . . counting down the days!